Crocodile Tears

The night I cried,

when my whole world died.

My watering eyes

shed drops of agony

that fell on a paper

to write a story

for myself

to be read later.

For a reason

or the lack of one

Then I was crying 

for the sake of it.

For I didn't identify 

with any matter

or the lack of it.

How could I justify

the latter?

By shining some light on it?

When I can't melt 

or freeze.

To tell you what I felt

isn't as light as a breeze.

For I wished 

I knew who I was

I am and will be.

I have missed 

my unholy reprise

to be the best of me.

All this noise.

The illusion of choice.

The facts I see,

ask me.

Am I awake?

Deep asleep?

Only to know

that none 

of this is me.

Not the start,

the journey

or the end.

I am not 

your enemy.

You thought

I was your best friend.

Know this.

Trust, doesn't come easy.

For this body 

and it's needs

sex, food and sleep.

The security to 

breathe deep.

We live 

and work towards

but don't know

the means

to the consequential end.

This philosophy

this study.

I share to you,

my buddy

I tried.

and for this betrayal

I've cried.

a tear or two.

this gap between

me and you.

hurts like it should.

I would if I could

stop loving you.