The night I cried,
when my whole world died.
My watering eyes
shed drops of agony
that fell on a paper
to write a story
for myself
to be read later.
For a reason
or the lack of one
Then I was crying
for the sake of it.
For I didn't identify
with any matter
or the lack of it.
How could I justify
the latter?
By shining some light on it?
When I can't melt
or freeze.
To tell you what I felt
isn't as light as a breeze.
For I wished
I knew who I was
I am and will be.
I have missed
my unholy reprise
to be the best of me.
All this noise.
The illusion of choice.
The facts I see,
ask me.
Am I awake?
Deep asleep?
Only to know
that none
of this is me.
Not the start,
the journey
or the end.
I am not
your enemy.
You thought
I was your best friend.
Know this.
Trust, doesn't come easy.
For this body
and it's needs
sex, food and sleep.
The security to
breathe deep.
We live
and work towards
but don't know
the means
to the consequential end.
This philosophy
this study.
I share to you,
my buddy
I tried.
and for this betrayal
I've cried.
a tear or two.
this gap between
me and you.
hurts like it should.
I would if I could
stop loving you.
