Unrealistic Reality

I was scared falling abruptly in the pit
But there was a sense of contentment
Indulgence was something I quiet experienced then
Always did what I badly sought not
Deprived from ecstasy in my usual tedious life
Life which I wasn’t geared up to concede
I became a soul so lack of vim and vigor
Even the slightest wind would carry away
But always the appalling wind did blow
Maybe this one wasn’t so atrocious after all
It promised me hope and buoyancy
Telling me there would be an end to it
Something I was seeking for desperately
Blindfolded to the world’s light
Here in the pit the dark seemed illuminating
Underrating my life I deserved life not
My heart only the size of my fist
Clogged so much emotions that I never released
Was gradually becoming a burden for me
Putting out the fire of my heart with my tears
And burying it all somewhere I too can’t find
I found it soothing it would come to an end shortly
Out of nowhere I suddenly hear a tune
A voice that had tenderness in it
It sang to me when I was descending
And I kept drowning in its rhythm
It said the pit was bottom less
The gratification was nothing but illusion
The darkness here would grow only shady
Beget that what I was trying to break away from
For a moment it showed me my fears
The fears I never came across but that just resided in me
Doubts that weren’t there but I still questioned
Powers I had but was guilty unduly
Love that was breeding but I never set free
Hatred that was extinguishing but I wouldn’t let it
The feeling of melancholy did start to fade
The voice was conquering me from everywhere
Blocking my pessimistic thoughts
It showed me hope not which I had been seeing then
But a hope that I really needed to see
I had to perceive it is hope that keeps us stirring
And living with hope is better living without
I felt my self tremble for a while
And then I was soaring up above in the blue
The world’s light was tearing up my sight
It was a feeling words cannot describe or portray
Something everyone I believe should feel once
To appreciate their life knowing there’s more to it than seems
I feel like I have been born new
Seeing things from a point I never knew existed
But now I often wonder if reality was unreal
Or unrealistic effects I saw as in real
Because the tone that endowed me with life
Is a rhythm I can never disregard
A voice that was impossible to restrain
And now when it plays on my mind
It’s a language I never learnt or ever heard of.

~/)bir~
(Dated: August 2006)