Today when I look back, I must say I had a decent childhood, which is; I had parents who were financially sound enough to be able to effortlessly look after my shelter, clothing, food, education, personal requirements etc, and provide me with a fine environment. They brought me up to be well mannered and my worldly needs were taken good care off but when it came to me growing up as an individual, things got rather unpleasant. I had matured seeing my elder siblings go through the same phase and when they rose up, they faced the harsh consequences. I, like a spectator, then just sat back and judged that sometimes my siblings were misbehaving and sometimes my parents were overreacting. When I reached adolescence, things hadn’t changed much. I was often misunderstood which lead to regular tiffs with mom and dad, that then gradually became an issue I found unbearable. That’s when I realized no one is to be blamed. Every generation faces these problems. The system tells us, it’s the generation gap and part of growing up but I found it very unhealthy.
For me there were too many ends to meet, when it came to being religious or social, well educated to earn a good living and so on. There were expectations at every step and I was tired of trying to prove myself better in my eyes and in others by compromising on several grounds. And no matter how much I put in, it never seemed enough. I wanted to break free from all this but I just was not sure if it would be the right thing to do.
Science now proves that most people aren’t aware that what we believe understand and act upon today, is purely because of our nurturing and environment. And this conviction is in the sub consciousness so we do not realize that we just ‘believe’ in something, we are convinced we ‘know’. And that prevents us from seeing what really is. We don’t like to be proved wrong so we simply judge a new idea weather sensible or not, in terms of our credence and thus categorize the unaccepted proposal as a revolutionary thought.
Now I can comprehend that if our lives are run by anything its “ego”.
And by ego I do not refer to the most common definition that we all understand – “Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem, feeling of being superior to the other”
The other definition of ego that most of us are never taught is – The sense of oneself distinct from other selves.
If you see, now on our day to day basis, “MOST” of us are always trying to prove ourselves better than someone else. We do that because our current system focuses less on living and more on “survival of the fittest”. So the moment we reach an age to start contemplating things we are forcibly dragged into the system and trained to join the rat race. This false programming generates a constant fear of being run over or left behind if you aren’t better if not the best. And this fear and stress has overtaken “every “aspect of our lives and the most affected is our health and particularly our relationships whether it be with parents, siblings, children, friends, spouses, partners etc. Life has become more about pursuit of happiness rather than living for the moment. Our current system favors only the rich and powerful so we devote to affluence. And there is an invariable cold war persisting at all times amongst all the people we compete with. We lose our true selves in the course trying to be rich and powerful so that we are looked upon, to feel worthy enough to be accepted and respected. We derive satisfaction and seek happiness from materialism but eventually realize that prosperity in abundance did not create the happiness we were seeking. We fail to see that the race which we have unconditionally accepted to be our reality is actually just a race with our self. And till the time this quest is not put to an end there will always be a yearning for meaning.
Now, there are “SOME” who do not really take a vital part in the race. They compete till they can and then quit. They find it pointless to do what everyone is doing. We generally call them average and ordinary people. They come and go. Who wants to be ordinary? But what we miss out is although they do not want to prove any point they are being “different”. And they too are trying to understand and figure life out on their own.
Everybody likes to be different because everyone wants to stand out. But what we don’t notice is that, if everyone is trying to be “DIFFERENT” then everyone is trying the “SAME” thing.
It’s evident we ALL want to be recognized for being alive! So once man questioned his existence and purpose in life and because he had no definite answer he started describing himself in ways that seemed relative to him neglecting that what’s relative is never absolute.
We all want an identification to feel recognized as a separate entity. And what gives us an identity? Well, if you see as a kid we are brought up with the “belief” that we ‘’belong’’ to some sex, some family, some class, some culture, some religion, some community, some society, some country so on and so forth. Now observe how everybody is trying to be recognized ONLY by their identities and everyone just tries their level best to live up to it. This very “belief” in identity is so resolutely etched in our minds that we fail to acknowledge any new concept that does not go in sync with the above mentioned categories. These classifications merely give us more reasons to judge a person and then treat him in view of that. And generally, only people with common identities and ideas tend to recognize one another, while reject people with dissimilar identities. This results in mounting up in groups, creating division and bigotry. So you see how the very idea of an identity is what creates a sense of separation. And that is the “ego” I am referring to that most of us live with without even realizing.
Now, some people like I, have suffered the consequences of these differentiation and discrimination. I questioned the reasons behind all the misery and suffering in this world. And I tried not to look for the answers from my past teachings, beliefs or knowledge; I sought the answers from observation and analysis. This is termed as critical thinking.
Keeping our ideas and beliefs aside, if one asks “Who are we?” The only substantiate answer is —– We are ALL a consciousness present in a human body that takes birth and is bound to die which means from a conscious point of view we are all the same!
Now while we exist in this human body, the only things we are subservient to is the environment, nature and all that coexists because without it we wouldn’t be. And by nature I don’t just mean the 5 elements, trees and animals, by nature I refer to this ENTIRE paradigm, the universe, the billion galaxies, the milky ways, the solar systems, the planets, earth and all that’s within. This impeccable, balanced, astonishing, beautiful design is GOD to me. I understand God is the creator and the creation Himself and that is what I entirely submit to. Once we humans have this realization, the only “thing” that would truly matter is our “existence” in this very profound design and we would use nature’s intelligence to be innovative problem solvers ensuring our lives to be as perfectly beautiful and harmonious as could be.
I would also like to bring your notice to the fact that I was born in a Muslim family and I tried my best practicing my religion Islam. Although I started doubting things relatively at a very early stage, my thoughts were only growing more webs. I couldn’t really figure out what was wrong but I knew something was definitely not right! I searched for my answers starting with questioning my religion. I tried to learn a lot by watching and reading numerous talk shows and books respectively by renowned scholars but it was just not enough. Some questions were yet unanswered .That’s when it occurred to me and I realized that I was taking peoples word for the truth. Everybody is gifted with the intelligence and it does not make sense why one should take someone else’s perception of religion or life as to be his. So I let go of everything I held on to, to seek GOD/TRUTH/MEANING/PURPOSE of life and now I finally know! And it’s beautiful!
Success isn’t anymore about how many people look up to you, or achieving an educational degree, or the designation in the field of your work or your social and financial status. It’s about being able to see the disguised truth and work towards it as one.
~ Abir Khalil ~
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