Take my heart, take my soul.
Take a part or take it whole.
Take my adventures and control.
Take until I have nothing at all.
Dear life, this is where I found me,
lost in the ocean of insanity.
Listening to music endlessly,
to take my mind towards ecstasy.
It feels so unreal this reality.
I am a sinner is why I feel guilty.
Just a perpetual feeling of pain,
asking me to stay in my lane,
words pouring like rain,
destroying memories in my brain.
How do I make it stop,
can they hear my thoughts.
Does it even matter or not ?
If I fly down below or crawl at the top.
What is this collective dream anyway?
Seeing nightmares during the day.
Separation, Judgement, Violence,
Hatred, War, Money, Intolerance.
A sheer lack of will power.
Something my insurance won't cover.
Lack of confidence in myself,
or a lack of self, itself.
Describing the inner existence,
doesn't even have to make sense.
Cause nobody will know,
about the ones who come and go,
about the ones that live in my head,
the ones alive and the ones that are dead.
Are we connected to another dimension,
a place with a harmonic civilization ?
I want to go there but lack transportation.
This darkness takes over my imagination.
This darkness is the lack of motivation,
that takes nothing into consideration,
not even my dinner, lunch or breakfast.
Not knowing what to trust.
If it is love or lust.
life's an option but death's a must.
To find the source of life,
that remains to be my strife.
That is the reason I write,
to show that I struggle and fight.
So in expression I find stillness
a way to live with mental illness.
