Lizard love bites

What looks like a fight between two lizards, is actually a form of lizard courtship, a lizard love bite if you will. Museum herpetologist, Dr. Greg Pauly says, "male alligator lizards bite the female behind the head during mating, which holds her in place until she is ready." Lizards have been observed in this position for a long time—sometimes over an hour, and oftentimes moving through open spaces which makes them easily visible. Some people speculate that the mating hold is a show of strength by the male, to prove how worthy of a mate he is. However, as Greg points out, there's no data to support this claim but he concedes that it could prove to be true. 

All of this might sound a little harsh to some people, but this mating behavior has not been known to harm the female. If you see lizards engaged in this behavior, please do not try to separate them or move them, as this could harm the lizards. This is their normal behavior, and an integral part of their mating ritual.

To cite sources: Natural History Museum

What is dead may never die

 

This too shall pass

When all of you wants to, simply breathe

and circumstances don't let you fulfill your need.

The trusted ones seem to be lying through their teeth.

Misled by the one who promised to lead.

Less hands that work than the mouths that feed.

Nobody is willing to hear your plead.

Can't substantiate the existence of your creed.

Do you have a goal in sight?

Do you sleep peacefully at night?

When everything wrong feels right,

let me tell you what it feels like

to have the ground beneath your feet taken away.

To flee when you want to stay.

When the weight of your body feels too much.

When you crumble and fall with just a touch.

The limbs that support you grow weak.

For true love's embrace is all you seek.

When you want to share but can't speak. 

Going through life with selective memories. 

All relations have got you on your knees.

A sharp knife being driven delibrately

into your chest but slowly.

You feel like ripping your heart out

and stabbing it to stop it from being so devout.

Locked in a dark prison of you mind

thinking thoughts that are extremely unkind.

Torturing yourself with scenarios that don't even exist.

Creating situations that get your life in a twist.

It is not possible to simply forget your yesterday.

How could you just listen and not say.

Woven from threads which are about to fray.

For the value received what did you pay.

Typing these words in an empty room I lay.

Looking for answers, you belay.

Is this an ode to the ones who pray?

or simply another essential relay?

Onto the next from yesterday.

When you can't die

because you have to live.

When you can't cry,

for your eyes have no tears left to give.

The hunt

Time flies

 

Ze' blu lagoon

Toxic crystal skull

 

It is just a ride

 Riding through life's street

there are many people we meet

coming across many experiences.

We learn survival.

Traffic sure is scary,

getting stuck

definitly sucks.

Maybe you get used to it

and eventually the 

traffic clears away.

The fuel sure is expensive.

Speed is scary

and risky

but tell me

does that stop you

from hitting that 160?

Accidents happen

that is the reason

we wear a helmet.

The pace of life is set

by you.

The decision to

travel is yours.

Even an endless road

has a destiny to fulfill.

It is the rider and

not the bike they say

It is the journey and

not the destination they say

They always have

something to say.

I usually plug in my

ear phones and drive away.

Que significa la vida?

 

Help

A cry for help

or help itself.

When the music stops.

When the shit hits the fan.

Amongst all chaos,

Who's going to be the man?

To carry us across

these uncharted lands.

When life has gone on a toss

nothing goes according to plan.

Facing a heavy loss.

Doing only what we can.

Integrity and courage were the cost,

for the family we became.

From the absurdist actions 

which should have been banned,

are the lives we loved the most

and the glory regained.

Criticism for the lost,

ironically has no aim.

The one who does the most

takes the entire blame.

The hurting heart asks,

"Is there an end to this pain?".

It is good to put in the effort

but it always goes in vain.

The eye of the beholder knows,

that all of you is strained.

What is help?

What would you tell?

A simple act

of charity?

A pact

to have

some clarity? 

A kind gesture?

Like brushing

your dog's fur?

Loving the ones

who don't deserve?

Saving the ones

without a nerve?

Is it a virtue

Or a vice?

Self sacrifice?

Anything nice?

Teaching someone how

to help themselves?

Humble enough to bow

when you realise

you have mistaken.

For what is

cannot be shaken.

Not interfering while

that person eventually

figures out.

Holding a smile.

Willfully.

Without a doubt.

Not believing

truly knowing.

We are only a part

of a bigger unit.

None of us

are a perfect fit.

Build the trust.

Only do what we can.

When given a chance.

We must.

The rest

seems out

of reach.

More practice,

less preach.

Giving a free ride.

To be by your side.

Lay out facts to decide.

Spell out rules to abide.

A sturdy shoulder for you to mourn.

A hand to lift you when you are down.

Catch all the curve balls that are thrown.

To see more details than what's shown.

Provide assistance in repayment of a loan.

Clothe and feed the poor.

Provide coherence when you are unsure. 

So you've been told.

A tale that was sold

of the yound and old,

the scared and the bold,

the hot and the cold,

the meek and the bold.

The brotherhood of man

cannot understand

the essence of the plan

to unfold the reprimand

of the common.

For all that is needed

will eventually be done.

Keep it a secret,

like an unholy bet.

This is the way to help,

onto others but first yourself.

The evolution of the logo for Jatadhaari

Jatadhaari is a service provider for people looking to make and maintain dreadlocks. The first logo was created in the year 2012 using photoshop. The shape language of triangle was used to design the character. An earthy colour pallete was chosen to represent the brand. The character is shown sitting with his legs crossed and lit from a light placed above the character.

The second logo was created in the year 2019. A few changes were made to the face and position of the character. The direction of source light was also changed from top to front.

The most recent design a lot of attention was given to the shape motif of the character while exaggerating the hands and fingers as they are used the most while making dreadlocks. The design was first drawn on paper after which it was traced and colours were added as shapes in illustrator. One can clearly see the improvement in design quality in the logo.

My pillow

My dear pillow,

I'm going to 

keep it mellow.

Here I go.

Living live people have hurled

words of betrayal and advice.

When the sun sets on the world

and darkness spreads over the skies.

When in blankets kids are furled,

I lay on my bed and close my eyes.

You soak in my stress after a long days work.

You lift my soul up when I'm stuck in the dirt.

You have witnessed of all my ups and downs.

You have been there while I smiled and frowned.

You have been a support to my heart when it aches.

You have always given me more than all it takes.

You heal my mind when it is tired.

You aid my brain get wired.

You give me dreams,

that nobody else sees.

You are so soft and steady.

You help me get ready

for what comes next.

You give my head a rest.

If you were put to a test,

I know you would be the best.

In your loving embrace when I breathe,

there is nothing in this eternity that I seek.

Spillage from a tainted heart

I am not a part of your dreams.

Don't even hear your silent screams.

I can't tell when you are lying.

I don't care if you are crying.

Don't want to know what you're doing.

Don't care about your feelings.

The prejudices living free of rent.

Eclipsed by my own judgement.

I find myself chained by my emotion.

In a world full of inaction.

Do words even mean anything?

Would it change something?

Does it even matter?

Is reality shaped like water?

When push came to shove.

If I told a human I love

that I hate them

and leave when they come.

Does that make me a better lover?

Would that give me more power?

over them?

Leaving behind breadcrumbs.

Would it change how I feel?

About me what it reveals?

What about love?

What does it do to a person?

What about the lack of it?

Love heals and hurts.

Love ignores and flirts.

Love can be chaotic and constant.

Love can be grateful and can repent.

Love is not all happiness.

It comes with a lot of sadness.

Love can feel angry.

Love can be sweet.

Love can be complicated

like this poem is completely twisted.

Love can be simple

like ABC is for people.

Love is all around.

for the ones who can see.

If you don't hear any sound.

Feel your heart beat.

Darkness best be expressed

Than keeping it repressed

Better out than in

emptying the trash bin

While reading this, if you heard my voice,

you might also know that this is my choice.

You are the exception

When all the rivers flow

into the great big ocean.

Backwaters show 

Its not always how it's done.

Is there a rose

that has no thorn?

Togetherness they chose

With the one withdrawn!

When everything

that felt right

begins to feel wrong!

Tell me 

if you would 

still hold on?

Learnt through

Experience?

You used to

be a fool.

There's always 

an exception

to every rule.

Like the Zodiac Killer

never brought to light.

Like a floor filler

that could not get it right.

Like a child's chiller

which is all bright.

Like a funny thriller

doesn't take place at night.

If everything were

perfectly fine.

This duty was nor

theirs or mine.

To have reached for 

the silver line.

To bring about true change.

How would you rearrange?

The list of priorities and desires.

Categories of the earnest and liars.

Life can't always be sunny,

but in a world run by money.

If you have dared

to be honest to yourself.

You have stared

at the beauty of love within yourself

and that love has shared

with you the courage to be yourself.

A peeping who?

 

Cardiac Chronicles

Come with me

on a journey

to places forgotten 

and forsaken.

Horizons of fear and love.

From down below to far above

and everything

in between.

It began as a harmless expression.

An affair I thought would be fun.

A glimpse of  belonging.

That ended with rejection.

The problem with feeling

is that you feel everything.

The good and the bad.

The happy and the sad.

The indifferent and the mad.

The time always moved on

but didn't take me along.

Yes, I felt love again,

this time without any pain.

It was innocent and pure.

About this I was so sure.

I didn't even realise

how the distance grew.

Crawled into my demise

a phase which was new.

Waited without action

for whatsoever response.

Lost all communication.

Was left with all my wants.

With all the DOs and the DON'Ts.

All the CANs and the CAN'Ts.

I followed my heart.

Became a little smart.

Met so many amazing souls.

Wished they made me whole.

Misunderstanding pity for, you know what.

Looking back I know I deserved what I got.

Each and 

everytime

Without reason

Or rhyme.

I gave 

and gave.

Hoping someone 

would stay.

Trapped in a dream

I made up in my mind.

In anger I screamed.

Pretending to be kind.

I didn't know the cause.

I didn't know the effect.

I just thought I was

being truly altruistic,

but that was

my selfishness.

More or less.

Driving me 

to the 

edge of insanity.

I craved and longed.

For a special bond.

A forever and beyond.

That which I never found.

Those that had to go, went so far.

I never saw them again.

I felt alone and went to a bar.

Drank to numb the pain.

Smoked to feel.

Did everything

but heal.

I didn't even know

that I needed to.

The highs and lows

got me through.

What is, doesn't easily show.

Hard to tell the fake from the true.

There were few patiently making me see 

everything I needed was always inside me.

I might have chased them away.

Maybe they were never meant to stay.

When I gave my heart like it was a buffet,

to ashes I was laid.

I let the tap run,

until the tank was dry.

When I needed some

I could only try.

Despite my dedication 

I failed Everytime.

About all that has been done

I write and write.

It's not a lot of fun

but a clue I might find.

To change an underlying pattern,

that will join the love lines.

I have a belief so strong,

that I will never loose what's mine.

Thinking about Nihilism

 

To do the best you can

 

One More

 

A few rhyming words

Remain calm my demons.

I have recieved your summons.

Being apart

has been difficult so far.

I know

this sorrow.

Is a feeling

that does show.

It stays even

if we don't swallow

the truth of all

that was hollow.

Together we put

our trust in that

which grows.

For only it holds

life as we know.

It is good to know

the ones that remain.

After the passing of

a million seasons

who choose 

to be the same.

To love or fear

the game

is to hold

the blame,

onto riches 

and fame.

What comes to position

is the complete rendition

of the time

that flew by

so fast.

The ones

who matter

couldn't last.

The spell that

was cast

doing tasks

before and after

each task. 

Wearing

and removing

each mask.

Raising the glass

not caring 

about your class.

For what lays

deep within

must not surpass

that which comes

from the abyss

of nothingness.

Where all that

everything seems

to be less.

Looking for sense

in competence.

Chance after chance.

Dance within

another dance.

A song that

was sung in

the future

causing alarms

that rung in

the past.

In this loops of time

when we do rewind.

Do we tend to find

a mind

that works the 

way it must?

A heart that

chooses to be kind.

Or is it just lust

for more power

and control?

Over all matter

and souls.

Few questions are better

left unanswered for a

time before

we thought of undoing

the sale from

door to door.

I am not perfect.

I am not done.

I am not confused about myself.

I am confused about everyone.

The harvester of lost souls

The grim reaper came knocking at my door,

asked if  I was the creator of life.

We sat and we spoke.

The reaper had a gun,

I only had a knife.

He said,

if life is a dream for the dead

and death is a nightmare for the living.

When you wake up

are you dead or alive?

I asked him if I had a choice.

He said,

When you are dying to live

and living to die.

Are you dead or alive?

He said,

If the lies are more real

and the truth, very fake.

Is your existence delibrate

or is it a mistake?

I asked him if I get to decide.

He said,

I always had a choice

and he asked me to decide.

To which I said,

when you want more

but have less.

When you keep less

and give more.

are you dead or alive?

To which, he replied,

when you look at me

and I into your eyes.

Is it death I see?

Or do you see life?

Urdu poetry types

 Aage khaai peeche kua

Har taraf hai dhuaa dhuaa

Nasamajh hai mera dil

Isko rokna hai mushkil

Iski hai koi manzil

Kiski doori kiski aas

Jaane kaise bhujegi yeh pyaas

Gaata rehta hai mera dil

Ae dhadkan tu aake mujhse mil

Yeh lafz hai tere kaafil

Itna haar ke bhi yeh thanka nahi

Nahi jaanta kya galat aur kya sahi

Kya hota woh aamil

Jo hota hai haasil

Jab tha nahi koi raahil

Dil jaan aur imaan

Ab hai tere naam

Tu hai mera makaan

Main hu alif aur tu hai laam

Aur meeme hamara jahaan

Vuww

 

To forgive and forget

You shouldn't hurt a person

or be a reason

for their sorrow

and then allow

how bad

or how sad

they feel.

When they reveal

their point of view

in front of you.

You know, you have

made a mistake.

Feeling the loss of 

all that was at stake.

As you look 

at the mistakes 

that were made.

Doesn't suffice

the price

that was paid

Over the fire this

path had been laid.

To walk on it

felt like a crusade.

Like spitting venom

those words were said.

To say sorry and mean it.

To be the bearer of guilt.

To see the mistake you did.

Is not enough if it has ruined.

What once was the best of us.

Having broken the trust.

Now do what you must.

To be sorry

and mean it.

To put in the work

where needed.

Change what is needed.

It is not enough that

you've pleaded.

Let there be space

for healing.

Look within

for what made you hurt

the one you love.

Speak less more self work.

That my friend

is a real apology.

Don't pretend

when you say sorry.

Guilt ridden thoughts

have no power over the past.

Worry untill you breathe the last

but that wont change the forecast.

In order

to feel better

I can't hurt the

one who hurt me.

I will only be

feeding my ego.

Which feeds endlessly

like a blackhole.

Lastly I forgive

not wishing to be forgiven

but because that is

the virtue which

will set free.

Giving me

a chance to be.

If the person has hurt you,

don't just forgive but also forget.

For they will be forever in your debt.

Even if they are not aware,

their soul will keep them there.

Accept that there

are situations

and people you 

can't force.

People change when they're ready.

Creativity moves at its own rhythm.

Healing doesn't have a time limit.

Love blooms when hearts align.

Crocodile Tears

The night I cried,

when my whole world died.

My watering eyes

shed drops of agony

that fell on a paper

to write a story

for myself

to be read later.

For a reason

or the lack of one

Then I was crying 

for the sake of it.

For I didn't identify 

with any matter

or the lack of it.

How could I justify

the latter?

By shining some light on it?

When I can't melt 

or freeze.

To tell you what I felt

isn't as light as a breeze.

For I wished 

I knew who I was

I am and will be.

I have missed 

my unholy reprise

to be the best of me.

All this noise.

The illusion of choice.

The facts I see,

ask me.

Am I awake?

Deep asleep?

Only to know

that none 

of this is me.

Not the start,

the journey

or the end.

I am not 

your enemy.

You thought

I was your best friend.

Know this.

Trust, doesn't come easy.

For this body 

and it's needs

sex, food and sleep.

The security to 

breathe deep.

We live 

and work towards

but don't know

the means

to the consequential end.

This philosophy

this study.

I share to you,

my buddy

I tried.

and for this betrayal

I've cried.

a tear or two.

this gap between

me and you.

hurts like it should.

I would if I could

stop loving you.

Fruity Loops

What can I control?

I might trap a body

but never have the soul.

Yes, I know

that there's

so much

I don't know.

This skin

is but a cover.

For what lays

within

is my true

power.

I need to reveal

a pain I feel.

Of not knowing 

better.

Not showing

a part of

my dominant

character.

To myself

or the world.

So anyone

who cares

enough to

read.

I am

but a seed.

Growing from

where I am.

Only doing

What I can.

I do accept

this fate

that unwhirls.

With the ticking

Of the clock.

These habits,

Actions, feelings

and thoughts.

If I had a remote

to control my life.

Would I pause

or would I play?

What was

the cause?

What would 

I say?

I can't even justify

the existence

of such an apparatus.

If I could,

it would

demistify

the experience 

of this chaos.

Being animated to

the movements

of the strings

that bind me

to this reality.

Running.

Staying.

Fighting.

Surrendering.

Seem all the same.

What if I am

just a non-player

character

in this game.

All the choices

will come to

the same end.

Maybe it's not

about how this ends

Maybe this is

Endless.

That speaks about

the nature

we belong to.

The world 

into which

we grew.

All but a stop.

Now read again

from the top.

Hello!

I have been posting various visual and written content on this blog since 2012. I have never taken the oppurtunity to interact with my audience. 

I would like to know from anyone who is reading this or people who visit my blog regularly. 

What kind of content would you like to see? 

Would you like more poetry? 

More art works? 

Digital or traditional?

Would you like more stories?

What topics would you like me to cover?

I would like to know what I can give to you.

You can let me know either by commenting on this post or filling out the feedback form at the bottom of the page.

If you are reading this on your mobile phone then the screen might appear something like this.

I request you to scroll all the way to the bottom of the page and click on the view web version button.

You will not only find the various categories for you to explore, but also see the archive and the trending posts.

I once again thank you for your relentless support and I look forward to hear from you.

Stay Kool Dnt Melt,

Salman.

Logo Designs for Infinite Epoch Lab

 

Exploring the Beauty of Contrast: A Visual Journey

 

Contrast refers to the discrepancy in brightness or color that allows an object to stand out from its surroundings or be easily discernible in an image or display. When perceiving the physical world visually, contrast is influenced by variations in color and brightness between the object of interest and other objects within the same visual field. The human visual system exhibits a greater sensitivity to contrast rather than absolute luminance, enabling us to perceive the world consistently despite significant variations in illumination throughout the day or across different locations.

The last letter

Mounisha and Ruchir are sitting on a bench by a lake.

Mounisha: You are a beautiful soul.

Ruchir: What do you mean by that?

Mounisha: How long has it been since we have known each other?

Ruchir: About three and a half years.

Mounisha: In these three and a half years, how many times have we fought?

Ruchir laughs.

Ruchir: Never but I still don't get it. What makes me a beautiful soul?  You are a beautiful soul too!

Mounisha: I am not done speaking. My life has changed so much since I have met you. You have given me such unconditional love . I am grateful to you. I was in such bad company when we first met. You saved me from myself. I would have killed myself had I continued living the way I did.

Ruchir: What if I tell you that I was payed by your parents to do so.

Both laugh

Ruchir: Why are you talking about all this now?

Mounisha: I don't know, I just thought of it and felt like being thankful.

Ruchir: I love you.

Mounisha: I love you too.

They lean in and kiss. Ruchir's phone starts ringing. He takes it out from his pocket and recieves the call.

Ruchir: Hello. I am with my wife at the park right now.

Mounisha: Who is it?

Ruchir raises his palm gesturing mounisha to wait.

Ruchir: I'm at the K.S.B. park at Nobanagar.

Inaudible voice speaks on the phone.

Ruchir: You're here too? Really?

Ruchir starts looking around.

Ruchir: We are sitting here by the lake. Ok, I see you.

Ruchir starts waving. A man walks towards them.

Mounisha: Who is that guy?

Ruchir: A little patience please.

Mounisha: Ok, this is weird. How did he know that we were here? and who is that guy?

Ruchir: That's my ex-boyfriend.

Ruchir laughs. Mounisha hits Ruchir on his shoulder.

Mounisha: Tell me who he is.

Ruchir: You'll find out.

The guy walks upto them.

Ruchir: Mounisha meet Zakir. Zakir this is my wife Mounisha.

Zakir: Good morning madam and wish you a happy wedding anniversary.

Mounisha looks at Ruchir and holds his hand.

Zakir: Here's your anniversary gift.

He holds out a pair of keys.

Zakir: Your new car is waiting for you in the parking lot.

Ruchir: Let's go check it out.

The three of them walk upto the care. They get in and mounisha starts driving.

Ruchir: Where are you taking us?

Mounisha: Let's go for a long drive.

Ruchir: I think we'll have to drop Zakir off first. He took special permission to come give us the car. He has to go back.

Zakir: I have about an hour's time to get back to the showroom.

Mounisha: Relax you two, I just want to show off the car to my friend. Zakir, where is your showroom? I'll drop you off on the way.

Zakir: There is a traffic signal at Bhoski which is coming up ahead. I'll get off there.

Mounisha: Sure.

Ruchir looks at Mounisha.

Ruchir: Who do you want to show off your car to?

Mounisha: I thought of going to Ritika's place but then I don't feel like it right now.

They reach the traffic signal at Bhoski and Zakir gets off the car.

Zakir: Thank you. Once again, wish you a happy wedding anniversary.

Zakir closes the door. Mounisha drives for a short distance and stops the car.

Mounisha: Let's go meet your dad.

Ruchir: Really? Of all the things we can do right now you want to go meet my dad? Why do you want to ruin this perfectly fine day by meeting that selfish old bastard?

Mounisha: Shut up Ru! He's not as bad as you think. Besides he's your father and he loves you.

Ruchir: We have had this discussion a million times before. You know how I feel about this. Please let's not meet him. Let's meet your parents, let's go meet your sister's family, let's check out what your brother is upto. Anyone in the world but him. Please baby. You understand me better than anyone. Please don't be stubborn now.

Mounisha: My love. Sometimes we need to do things even if they make us unhappy. Not for us but for the greater good.

Ruchir: Greater good? No matter what we preach and idealize. There is no greater good. Greed runs deep in our genes. No matter how much we have, we always want more. Never will we be satisfied with what we have. This is what my father has taught me through his life. My mother gave and gave and he kept taking.

Ruchir's eyes water up.

Ruchir: Till she couldn't give anymore. When she had nothing left to give, that asshole took her life.

Mounisha: You need to calm down. I think you are making a big fuss about nothing.

Ruchir takes a deep breath.

Ruchir: "Far away" is playing at P.V.R. lets go watch it.

Mounisha: Can we go meet your dad after the movie?

Ruchir yells in anger.

Ruchir: Don't you fucking get it? I don't want to meet him!

Mounisha: I want to!

Ruchir: Why?

Mounisha: I think you are too scared of life. That is why you don't want to have kids. I think it has something to do with the immense hatred you have for your father.

Ruchir: Beautiful souls don't hate.

Mounisha: Stop Joking Ru! Don't you want to give me the gift of motherhood?

Ruchir: Not this again. Please.

Mounisha: Let's talk about this one time in the presence of your father and I will let go of it.

Ruchir: Does it mean so much to you?

Mounisha: It is a shame that you have to ask such a question.

Ruchir takes a deep breath and lowers his eyes.

Ruchir: I don't know what to do.

Mounisha holds Ruchir's hand.

Mounisha: Everything is going to be alright.

Ruchir: Alright let's go.

Mounisha starts driving towards Ruchir's father's home.

Ruchir: What if he is not at home.

Mounisha: He built himself one of the most beautiful mansions that ever existed but he did not build himself a home, he built himself a prison. I am sure he'll be there.

After driving for an hour they reach the mansion. They stop at the intercom at the main gate and ring the bell.

Voice from the machine: Who is it?

Ruchir: Hey Sikander, it is me Ruchir. Is dad at home?

Machine: Ruchir baba! Rachit Saab has been awaiting your presence since a long time. Welcome!

Mounisha smiles at Ruchir. The gate opens and they drive through to reach the main door.

Sikander: Greetings Ruchir baba! Greetings Mounisha Madam! I am so happy to see the two of you. So lovely of you to come. Rachit Saab is on the roof. He spends most of his time there in solitude. He has stopped having his grand parties here since the past two years. He misses you a lot. He follows your facebook profiles and shows me all your pictures. I really enjoyed the world tour album of yours. How's work? Are you two happy?

Rachit: Sikander, Go set up the table for lunch. They must be hungry.

Mounisha goes and touched Rachit's feet.

Mounisha: Namaste Uncle, How are you doing?

Rachit: I am the father of your husband. I need you to stop calling me uncle.

Ruchir: Hey dad.

Rachit: What made you visit your old man? The last time I saw you was at your wedding. I have been selfish all my life, made mistakes for which I repent everynight but everyone deserves a second chance. Please forgive me son.

Ruchir: Mounisha insisted that we meet. She has something she wants to talk about.

Rachit: Let's sit in the library.

All of them go to the library.

Rachit: Would you two like to have some alcohol?

Ruchir: No, thank you.

Mounisha: I'll have some. Ruchir, please drive us back home.

Rachit pulls out an old bottle of whisky and pours it into two glasses. He then adds some ice into both the glasses.

Rachit: Is there a problem Mounisha beta?

Mounisha: I am not sure if one would call it a problem but your son doesn't want to have kids.

Rachit smiles.

Rachit: I saw that you bought a new car. What model is it?

Ruchir: It is the new sports version of the Ford Flex. It has a rear slip-differential and is equipped with a four wheel drive.

Rachit: Do you like the car Mounisha?

Mounisha: Yeah, it is fast. Dad, I didn't come here to talk about the car.

Rachit bends towards Mounisha and places his hand over hers.

Rachit: I know. There is a right time and place for everything. All the pieces of the puzzle will fit in perfectly. I know you have been very patient, my child. I request you to be the same. Have faith in whatever god you pray to.

Sikander: Lunch is ready!

They have a very quite lunch. Soon after Mounisha and Ruchir leave. They go to the movie theater to watch Far Away. They go out to a fancy restaurant for dinner and head home. They lay on their bed in each others arms.

Mounisha: I feel weird. My intution is trying to tell me something.

Ruchir: It is telling you that you've had a long day. That you should get some rest.

Mounisha: Good night, my love.

Ruchir: Good night, love.

Both of them fall asleep.

At 4:00 am Ruchir's phone starts ringing. He wakes up and receives the call.

Ruchir: Hello, WHAT? I'm coming!

Mounisha: What happened?

Ruchir: Dad passed away.

Both of them get dressed and go to Rachit's place. There is a huge gathering that filled up the entire mansion. It takes them a while to reach inside. They see Sikander sitting next to Rachit's body and crying. Mounisha puts her hand on Ruchir's shoulder. As Ruchir moves forward, his knees become weak, his eyes start tearing up. As come close to his father's body, he crashes on the floor. Unable to understand his emotions, his body starts trembling, he starts crying unconsolably. The funeral process begins. They take his body to the creamtion house. After the creamtion everyone leaves. Sikander gives Ruchir a letter.

Skinader: I found this under Rachit Saab's pillow. It has your name on the cover.

Ruchir open the envelope and begins reading the letter.

My dearest son,

I have wronged you on so many levels that a simple apology won't suffice. I have made many mistakes in my life. Many things I would like to change but I can't. I want you to understand that nothing is permanent. In this journey of life there will be many ups and downs. Sometimes the road will be smooth and sometimes bumpy. Sometimes you can sail through easily, sometimes it becomes impossible to move. Sometimes you get to keep your treasures, sometimes you need to cut your losses.

One thing that I always want you to keep in mind is that you must always keep moving forward. You must never stop. Whether you're right or wrong. Keep doing the doing or else the doing will out do you.

Your loving father,

Rachit.

For God's Creatives

Sleeping in the night all alone in my room.

I look to the sky and stare at the moon.

There is silence everywhere.

I wish there was someone who would care.

Someone who would end this nightmare.

I wish there was someone who would stay.

I wish there was someone to show me the way.

I would follow them anywhere,

with me they would have no fear,

for them I would always be near,

I wish I find someone so dear.

I will always wipe their tear.

I wish to find someone who can spark desire.

The one who can freeze hell's fire.

Someone who can take me away

and turn the dark night into a bright day.

I wish to find someone who understands me.

I will always keep them happy.

Keeping them happy forever.

Leaving them alone? Never!

Wish I find someone as pretty as a flower.

As deep as an ocean, as sweet as sugar.

I wish all my wishes come true.

For this reason, I have gathered all my guts,

to say I love you.

...

..

.

.

I wished and I loved

with all my heart.

I gave and I learnt

but I was torn apart.

... .. . that was all in the past

missing a love that didn't last

Wishful thinking didn't get me far.

Not even when I wished upon a shooting star.

I saw the good in everyone else

but never looked within myself.

So now I stand at the brink.

Surrendering to silence, was my missing link.

In silence I found peace.

When I chose to let life breathe.

I chose to love me.

The ecstasy of surrender

Life is a delicate balance

of holding on and letting go.

True peace and joy is an experience

which cannot be stolen or borrowed.

The reality seen through our lens

is different from what we know.

In unacceptable terms take offense.

Engulfed in burning rage for evermore.

Too quick to put up our defence.

Not acting from soul but ego.

Memories written in past tense.

Oblivious of how destiny will unfold.

Keeping up the pretence

will leave no space to grow.

Better to have an acceptance

that very little can be controlled.

Avoid paying the penance

of not letting the truth show.

No matter how intense

everything is a flow.

It is ok to have strong sense

but learn to respect the "no!".

All life is at the dispense

in the hands of the cosmos.

Even our mere existence

is meant to break off.

Trapped in a reality so dense

it becomes difficult to forgo.

To live at the expense

of something bigger is tough.

Belief has power to commence

a reality never seen before.

Bear through the suspense,

what's yours will stopover.

Trust the universe, god or science

have faith and let go.

Reasons

The glasses were on your head,

not searching yourself and asking me instead.

How the journey went, who followed and led.

Saying, after saying everything that had to be said.

When you make faces and call me names.

When you tease and play your mind games.

Everything you do. I find it so cute.

My heart dances to the tune of your flute.

This is something you know to be true.

My dearest pied piper, take me home with you.

Fears can't manisfest if love shines through.

You may think they don't know but they do.

You are beautiful inside and out.

That's the truth nobody will ever doubt.

A virtue that doesn't need to shout.

A hearty friend who is sincerely devout.

By your side I feel I am enough,

even when the going got tough.

You make me want to be my best.

With you every second feels like a fest.

When you say something which is very clear.

I find meaning in the mundane and hold it dear.

Content with not getting there and staying here.

When alone I look around and find you near.

This life is long, this life is short.

To be with you is not my last resort.

It is a choice, a calling of some sort.

In the kingdom of heaven you are my consort.

My Sadhana at Sadhana Forest

I would like to start talking about this quest by sharing how I came to visit Sadhana Forest. I didn't know about the existence of such a place. I knew about Auroville but not Sadhana Forest. A friend of mine shared a reel about this place and I found the way of life at Sadhana Forest very interesting.

Luckily after having worked for a year, I got a vacation. I needed a break away from the everyday routine I was going through. Also I had never been on a proper solo trip all my life. I always traveled with or for someone.

I did my research about Sadhana Forest. I spoke to the people at Sadhana Forest, got the required information, booked my travel tickets, got ready and took off from Hyderabad. After traveling in a very luxurious bus for 14 hours I arrived at the Moratandi Toll Pass at Pondicherry.

It was a relaxed Sunday morning. I looked around and saw an auto rickshaw. I asked the driver if he would take me to Sadhana Forest, He asked for 300, I bargained for 150 and we finally settled on 200. He took me through a village which led into a forest and finally we arrived.

I walked in and was greeted by Abhilash who is the program director's assistant at Sadhana Forest. I was asked to wash my hands and join the breakfast. I hadn't even brushed my teeth but didn't hesitate to eat. After breakfast I was informed that I had to wash my own plate and shown how it was done.

Then I made the payment for my food and was explained about the rules and regulations. Then Sandhya gave me a short tour showing me the restrooms, showers, kitchen, washing area and finally my bed in the dormitory. I learnt about the founders of the forest, a couple from Israel, that compassion is an essential part of living at Sadhana and that I would have to take part in selfless service called Seva.

The huts were made mostly from recycled and natural material. There were no fans or running water from taps but it was for a valid reason. As mid-day arrived the heat peaked, I began feeling restless. I found out that lunch wasn't served during weekends so I decided to go out for lunch. I walked all the way to the highway and then a little more before I arrived at a restaurant. I ordered some veg noodles for myself, which to my surprise tasted much better than I had expected. I was sweating and feeling hot. I bought a water bottle and drank some water. Then I pour some water over my head, wet my handkerchief and tied it around my head. I walked back to Sadhana, as I drank water and got barked at by the street dogs.

 I then began looking for a place inside Sadhana Forest where there was some wind or low temperature, but couldn't find a single spot that matched my needs. I then took a shower and went to the main hut. The main hut is a no technology zone. I guess that energy helped me relax despite the heat and I was able to take a short nap. I woke up right before dinner, which is served at 6:00 pm. 

The food here is purely vegan, no processed food, no oil, no spices; as healthy as it can be. After dinner I was asked to assist with the cleaning up of the dishes. I joined Piyush and we managed to clean up the table and dishes in a few minutes. I was taking my own sweet time to do the same but Piyush showed me how to be more faster. After that we had a session in the main hut where I was given a detailed orientation about Sadhana Forest, its values, the humans responsible for its smooth functioning and other things that I can't recall right now. Then we were asked what Sevas we would like to choose for the next week. Abhilash announced the first seva and I raised my hand, I had chosen to help with breakfast hygiene. I also chose to be the dinner organiser for the week. There were around 34 human beings living at Sadhana Forest, Few were long term volunteers living there for a year, few were mid term who were there for six months and the rest were short term (like me). After that everyone dispersed and I went to my bed. 

I lay on my bed tossing and turning waiting to fall asleep. Eventually, I did fall asleep, I woke up to the sound of Annete singing and playing a musical instrument (of which I don't know the name). The toilets at Sadhana are nothing like anything I have seen before and one must experience it to truly understand. After answering nature calls, I brushed my teeth with some all natural tooth powder. 

Then everyone gathered at the morning circle and did a few stretches. While greeting each other a good morning, everyone hugged only if they wanted to.

 I then was accompanied by Hanna who showed me what needed to be done. We began by replacing all the dried vessels in their respective places. Then placed the vessels which were soaking out to dry. Cleaned up the washing area and the plate cleaning station. Cleaned the dog bowls. Emptied the Compost, Cow and Dog bin to wash them. Cleaned the foot mats and the drinking taps. At 8:45 am the bell in the main hut rang and everyone gathered for breakfast. Everyone sat in a circle and food was served on plates where they were sitting. Once everyone had a plate, there was a brief moment of silence after which everyone began eating. 

There were a few community announcements made and personal announcements. After that I got the kitchen clean up as my second seva for the day. I had to do most of what I did during the first seva but not as much. The seva ended around lunch time when the bell rang again and everyone gathered in the main hut. After lunch we had a massage workshop where everyone partnered up to learn a few massage techniques. It was Moi who was going to teach us. I partnered up with Deepak who was a professor in psychology, however, he had to leave half way. I then partnered up with Piyush who didn't want me to practice the moves on him. Finally it was Rohit who gave me proper feedback about what I was doing and helped me learn better. After that I took a shower and went to the tea hut where I had some nice vegan tea and laddu. 

I came back to the main hut around 6:00, forgetting about my responsibility to organise the dinner. Meaning I had to decide who all were serving food, who would be responsible to distribute the plates and serve the latter rounds. After dinner we had a core value talk session. This week's topic was natural learning. Natural learning is all about letting the child choose what he/she wants for themselves. Once the child chooses for themselves they would stand by their decision making them more resilient in their approach. This is not the conventional form of learning where there is a standard for all students and then they are tested based on their memory. The talk went on for about two hours where everyone shared their ideas and then we all went to sleep.

 The next morning I woke up early and saw the waning moon in the dark sky. We had the morning circle, I did the breakfast hygiene seva with Tasneem and had breakfast. I chose firewood seva this time. I was joined by Rahul and Utsav, led by Piyush. We first began by clearing out fallen branches from one area and placing them in another. We were not only moving the big pieces but also breaking them. After the area cleared out we headed back for lunch. Most of the work I do requires me to sit in one place, this time I was standing and using my physical strength to do things. It boosted a lot of endorphins making me feel good. 

 

After that we had lunch after which I conducted a portrait drawing workshop which was attended by quite a few people. Many of them really enjoyed learning the techniques of drawing a portrait. Few found it tough and decided not to follow through. Few of them didn't need any tips from me. Most of the learners left except for Amarthya, Fionna, Gargi and Shrushti. 

They had fun drawing and I had fun teaching them how to. We then had breakfast after which we went into the meditation hut for the sharing circle. The sharing circle was a safe space for everyone to share anything they wanted to. Something that was bothering them or something they were thankful for. Something on their mind or something that was in their heart. Nobody would give any feedback or advice. Nobody would talk about what was said here. One by one everyone spoke, I did too. Then we all went back to our huts and fell asleep. 

The next morning after the morning circle I was joined by Manju and Ratnapriya (the most expressive and funniest person I have met at Sadhana) for the breakfast hygiene. Ratnapriya only knew how to speak in Tamil and was able to speak a few words in english. However, communicating with her was never a problem. After breakfast I chose compound clean up as my second seva. We went to the goshala where we emptied the buckets which had stagnant water in them. It was Shainey, Gargi, Kuldeep and Myself who were doing the compound clean up. Kuldeep and I went towards the cow dung compost pit which was covered with a tarpaulin sheet. There was a lot of stagnant water on the sheet which needed to be thrown out. Little by little we managed to clear out all the water. We were almost done when we saw a small scorpion resting in the sheet. Kuldeep told me that it wasn't venomous.

 We then came to the kitchen to have some lemon juice, where Kuldeep showed me a beautiful work of nature, a red ants nest made with leaves on a tree. We then did a little more seva clearing off wild weeds growing on top of huts before heading to lunch. 

After lunch we had a question and answer session with Aviram, the founder of Sadhana Forest. He was in Amsterdam making an online video call. Abhilash wanted to know why the use of cooking oil wasn't allowed at Sadhana. Aviram answered by saying that if it was one cook who was making food for everyone all the time it could be regulated. However, since there were different people preparing food at different times the regulation of the quantity would be difficult. He mentioned that oil wasn't necessary for a balanced diet and we were better off without it. Then Moi asked what impact the lack of a peer group had in natural learning. To that Aviram replied that raising his daughters in a natural learning environment had its disadvantages but there are many parent groups today that have figured out a solution for the social aspect of children growing in a natural learning environment. Then Fionna asked what it means to be a human and what freedom meant to Aviram. Aviram began by explaining the meaning of the word being. Which means to exist, something that doesn't have a hierarchy. Earlier it was accepted that humans were the only ones gifted with a consciousness, now we know that is not true. Every living being is conscious and intelligent in its own unique way. We understand humans because we speak the same language (sort of). If we could speak the language of all animals we wouldn't treat them with cruelty. He added that to be human means to be of service to all beings without discrimination. He said that the more we give with a good intention the more we receive. The universe is filled with abundance for those who seek for it and love happens to be an inexhaustible resource. It is easy to be compassionate towards someone who deserves it, true compassion means taking care of someone who doesn't deserve it. About freedom Aviram said that when we don't identify with our body or intellect, it is only then we are completely free. To connect with your true self is a rare and beautiful feeling. Many people attain spiritual enlightenment when they are imprisoned. A place where there is very little freedom gives a person an oppurtunity to be themselves. He mentioned that it is important to be free on multiple levels, emotionally, financially and physically. He gave the metaphor of a jet pilot riding in an airplane that is about to crash, and how he always has a choice of pressing the ejection button.

 I then thanked Aviram for having created such a place that helped me to the extent one can hardly fathom within the gap of a few days. I told him that I have felt true peace and joy at Sadhana Forest. Aviram asked me to stop before I asked the question so he could cherish the moment. He then asked me to proceed with my question. I asked him how do I carry this energy that I have felt back home. To that he replied don't go back, go forward. See what helped you feel the way you did and take those elements to where you are. Like nature, vegan diet or a compassionate community. He called me by my name and said that it means peace. He said that the peace was within me and I didn't have to seek it outside. He also advised me to do as much as I can to achieve my goal, as soon as possible, while I am still motivated.

 Someone then asked him why he chose India to establish Sadhana Forest. To that he replied that he was always inspired by Indian culture. Someone asked him about developing the feeling of being responsible. To that he replied to do so one must have that from within which comes from being connected to the suffering of others. To think of ourselves beyond our body. He was then asked why he chose the name Sadhana. He said that this was his Sadhana which meant "Spiritual Quest".  He did this to express his love and compassion, the forest helped. He was then asked about expanding one's consciousness to which he replied that one can achieve this through persistence, belief and through a teacher. The teacher can be anyone or in any form.

 Ritwik then asked why violence wasn't allowed at Sadhana Forest, Aviram said that he was in the army and saw violence upclose. He said that it wasn't something very pleasant. He said that one must ask themselves if they want someone to be violent against themselves. Ask whether the people around me are just like me? He said that the people who tend to be violent are the ones who are haunted by fear and remorse. Piyush then asked why Aviram chose non-competitiveness as a core value when it can be helpful motivating people to grow. To that he replied that competition has more disadvantages than advantages. He pointed out the statistics in India that show the rate of suicide amongst young students. Children killing themselves due to the fear of failure in exams. Is competition worth a human life? No human wants to be under the constant pressure of competition. There is enough for everyone. He gave an example of the Austrailian aboriginals who live in a collaborative society. He spoke about how they were very resilient. Piyush also asked about how to avoid any form of bullying. Aviram replied that compassion contradicts bullying and one must give constructive feedback to the bully to make him/ her understand the consequences of their actions. To do so gently and in private. One must never bully the bully.

 After the session I headed out to the tea hut, had some tea and laddu. I exercised for sometime and then headed back for dinner. After dinner we had a non talent show. I read out the first poem I had ever written. Few people sang, Ritwik and Romi did a little bit of gymnastics. We then formed a circle and passed the hoola hoop through our bodies which was a lot of fun. We then played the human knot game. Then the 21 game, all of which were fun games to play. Then everyone was going out for ice cream and I was invited too. So I borrowed Utsav's bike and headed out to Kuliyapalayam road. We went to this place named Gelato which had the most amazing vegan ice cream. We played a few rounds of Uno before heading back and crashing into our beds.

 The next morning after the morning circle I did my breakfast hygiene seva. We then had breakfast and I chose the accomodation clean up seva. We then had lunch and I went shopping, then had ice cream and sandwich. A few of us then went to Cafe 73. From there we went to Robbie's Flame and Laxmees Pizza which are opposite one another where we had a dosa and a pizza. We then decided to watch Flash. After booking tickets, we took a short bike ride to the theater. Shrushti, Gargi and Shainey slept during the movie. Abhishek, Siddharth, Amarthya and myself watched the movie. We then rode the bike back to Sadhana and slept. The next day during the morning circle I requested to be a part of forest seva.

 I was hoping we'd get to do some digging work but we only had to water the newly planted trees. We then headed back for breakfast where I was given toilet hygiene seva. I filled the barrels with saw dust, filled water, cleaned the compost bin and learned about the toilet cleaning process. I took a shower, had lunch and we headed out for ice cream and then came back to Sadhana for the weekly tour. 

Here we were given detailed information about the various things that go on at Sadhana Forest. How everything is recycled and reused. We were informed about the importance of water conservation in saving forests and much of our natural resources. A little information about regrowing a tropical dry evergreen forest. We went to the goshala where Luke explained his relationship towards animals before and after Sadhana. We were shown what happens to human waste when it was composted for a period of one year. We then watched a documentary about Simple Living. After Dinner I had dinner clean up seva after which I made a dreadlock for Piyush. The next day I had my last official seva which was breakfast hygiene. We then went to Solitude farm for the tour and lunch. During the tour I learnt a lot about permaculture. Krishna Mckenzie told us about the book "One straw revolution". He told us how food is medicine and should be treated accordingly. 

He said that growing local food is very helpful in saving our cultural information. I learnt a little about non interventional farming. 

Growing plants which are of different sizes and take different time to harvest is better than the conventional method of farming. He told how they don't need artificial fertilizers, pesticides or genetically modified seeds to grow food. 

He told how there is equilibrium in nature, he spoke about the intelligence seen in mycelium. He said that solitude farm generates 8 tons of produce from 4 and a half acres of land every year. Showing that the project was not only beneficial to nature and healthy but also profitable. I had one of the most delicious meals at Solitude Farm. 

The papaya was simply out of the world, when I complimented Krishna about it, he said that it was pure sunlight that I tasted. 

We then went to Marc's cafe. I got my customized five layered vegan ice cream cone consisting of fresh cream, dark chocolate and vanilla. We then had a special vegan dosa at archers before we headed back to Sadhana. Then we had the new moon bonfire circle. 

The cows didn't let us settle down easily but eventually we did. It was scary dealing with the huge animals in the dark, their eyes glowed. We managed to start a fire and the cows left. We began by setting our intentions into the dark sky like it was an empty slate. Everyone wrote down their intentions for the lunar cycle, few of us burned them in the fire and few kept them for future reference. After meditating for a while we danced before putting out the fire. It was around 11 in the night when everyone decided to go to the beach. We reached the beach, it was windy and cool. I sat on the eastern sea coast staring into the dark horizon. The sound of the waves relaxed my mind, body and soul. I fell asleep on the beach, after sleeping for an hour I woke up and saw everyone was sitting at the beach itself. Few were talking, few were simply watching, few were playing in the sand. The night sky was as clear as it could get, showing me the vast expanses of outer space. We then headed back to Sadhana and slept. The next day After breakfast we had the inner child healing session where a few questions were discussed and steps towards healing were shared. Then everyone took turns sharing their journey and experiences. Once again there were no cross talks or advice given. I learnt a new prayer. I learnt that the actions of others need not affect my feelings. I learnt that I didn't need validation from others for my efforts. I learnt that I am not responsible for how others feel. I learnt about deep listening. I learnt how true change comes from within. Although it will take me some time to put this into practice, I know I am on my way. I then went to good earth cafe and had a smoothie, coconut milkshake and a cupcake, all vegan. 

We then went to sustenance farm for lunch. Then headed to Hope Cafe for a vegan pizza. The spicy pizza was simply amazing. Then after having ice cream at gelato I came back and got ready. Kuldeep dropped me at the toll gate from where I got into my bus to Hyderabad. 

All the beautiful souls I met who helped me, taught me, made me laugh, made me feel at home. Aviram, Deepak, Kuldeep, Shreya, Tanisha, Rohit, Shrinu, Shwetha, Luke, Amarthya, Siddharth, Abhishek, Piyush, Rahul, Utsav, Tasneem, Shrushti, Gargi, Sai, Fionna, Shainey, Abhilash, Sandhya, Ritwik, Chandan, Dhruvi, Tibu, Andrea, Waris, Olga, Gemma, Annete, Ratnapriya, Shek, Victoria, Romi and Rio. I am very grateful to everyone. I have written briefly trying to capture just an essence of what happened. There is a lot more about Sadhana Forest and oneself to learn. I have taken nothing but pictures and memories. I have left behind nothing but footprints.