If I were to write about it,
would it help me solve it.
Trying to wreck my habit.
Am I just being a bit vapid.
Would it make things better
or simply make it inferior.
I have a thousand problems.
How do I decode them?
I know no solution to fix it.
How the pain kicks in,
then ends before it begins.
I must accomplish much
but this situation is such.
I must, I might figure it out.
I wish I had no doubt.
Just flowing through tasks.
One of life's finest hacks.
Come into my arms as you go
towards what you most adore.
I have problems in my mind.
I have problems I can't define.
Problems that wake me
while I am fast asleep.
Problems that go straight
through my predetermined fate.
Do I seek my maker for
a manual, resolve or door.
I long for the key to behave
as it must, and what i gave.
For what it's worth.
Being helpful towards.
Everything above and below
the clouds and all they know.
I wrote about it and my everyday
problems don't seem to shy away.
On the contrary, the bills are
still unpaid, my budget is too far.
Still down, beaten out of luck,
deep down in the dark alleys
of my heart, awaiting the finale.
I sit on my chair in the center
of my world, staring at the monitor.
End of the sentence, press enter.
Speak now my inner lamenter.
Speak before the curtains fall,
not unless you're spoken to at all.
Then what is writing
if not speaking through my typing
that is the everyday exciting.
It is every bit as frightening.
What if I am the one left starving
when the night falls upon us
and when their eyes gaze
mine, after going through days
and then weeks, which turned
quickly into months and months
poured into sleek bottles of years
years of sweat, blood and tears
years of longing and perseverance
a lot of things that don't make sense.
I've stashed 37 of these bottles
so far, I am just trying to glide
through life as it were a slide.
Laying one next to another.
Like reaching even further.
If my words caused you stress, that wasn't my intention. I only hope you learn to distinguish right from wrong and never let financial dependency become a reason to live under someone's control. I, too, have unpaid bills and the responsibility of raising a child, yet I choose not to let my struggles define me. Many women lose their home, security, and society's support after being abandoned by their husbands—it's a harsh reality. Being a man, society often gives you more chances and rarely questions your place. For many women, it's different. When a relationship ends, they face judgment, unwanted attention, and the constant need to protect themselves. Those experiences make many women more guarded.
ReplyDeleteIf our relationship ever ends, I will choose complete distance. No friendship, online or offline. My love may remain, but my boundaries will remain stronger. To me, once the relationship ends, you come under the same line as strangers. I don't believe in staying friends after love ends. Some feelings can stay in the heart, but access to my life cannot.Relationships survive through effort, commitment, and consistency. You invest time in your friends and even stay connected with your ex on social media, so I believe a relationship deserves at least the same dedication. Love should never receive less effort than any other connection.If I talk about stress and pressure, there is a lot I could say. I was close to losing my child and faced pressure from all sides. At times, I felt judged instead of understood. But I never allowed myself to give up, panic, or choose the wrong path. My strength is my resilience, and my loyalty is for the future I choose to build.You may not have remarried, but you were engaged to someone and later stepped back. That experience also shows that relationships involve choices, commitments, and consequences.I choose stability and mother hood .
The fights happened when you represented someone else's words instead of understanding my side. I felt like I was being treated as the least important person because you were protecting your guardian, and I was put on trial to prove myself.
ReplyDeleteWhatever happened, I never gave myself the space to panic, break down, lie, or choose a wrong path. Giving up was never an option. My "never give up" attitude helped me survive difficult times, and you also don't give up on your dreams and passion never think of to end yourself someone wants you to be happy.I am a keen observer. I notice things carefully and understand patterns easily. I often observe who is saying what about me, both inside and outside the courtroom, and how those conversations reach you.If this relationship ends from your side, I will respect it I won't .I will not become a source of stress or disturbance in your life. I will quietly step away and disappear from your path as if I was never there. Sometimes leaving with dignity is also a way of showing respect.All the best hope you find happiness in future.