Falling in love with a bi-polar monster living in my head

Why did you set my soul on fire ?
You created this unceasing desire.
Denying me these feelings that I clearly feel.
Leaving me clueless not knowing what is real.
Now my mind can't rest.
Pushing me to be my very best.
It is in a state of constant war.
With itself behind these closed doors.
I cant seem to escape.
Why would I want to if it is my fate ?
I need help, a hand to pull me out.
I will stay silent but I want to shout.
but my ego wont let me ask for it.
Sucking out life bit by bit
for it must do this on its own.
Prove it to every muscle and bone
only then will this soul stand strong
and say that it has the right to live on.
Now I find myself standing alone.
Lost in the ruins
of my own doings.
Every contact I make
I give less than what I take.
I thought vampires were a fantasy
until you bit me.
Wishing for things to get better
I sit with my thoughts and wonder.
Was I always this monster ?
Did you just set me free ?
Was it always me ?