The Eternal Now.

 There's a saying in hindi, "Laathon ke bhoot, baathon se nahi maante."

This translates to "Those ghosts who have gotten used to being physically punished, won't concur to words."

I would like to wonder, "Why?", this is the case. The ghost in this situation would be me and I am not looking to physically harm myself in anyway. Yet, I would like to wonder, "Why?". I know what is right and wrong for me and have the clairvoyance to see where certain decisions would take me. Yet I fail, time and time again to do the thing that is right. I don't think being impulsive is a wrong thing. I don't even think I am driven by impulses as much as I'd like to admit. I am fine with what has happened and since I have no control over what the future holds I don't need to be anxious about it. What I am really concerned about, is the present moment. The eternal now! Somehow, the more I try to gain control over what is, the more it slips out of reach and when I let go, it is right there. Knowing this is how the state of existence is, I let go, hoping that I will achieve it and I don't. You can fool the entire world for the entirety of your mere existence on this planet but you will never be able to fool yourself. This is a universally known fact, I think we all know this because there is a little bit of universe in us and inturn we are a small part of it. Not going to admonish myself for my actions that brought me here. Not going to control my feelings or thoughts that will take me somewhere in the future.

I don't know what it is that I want to convey. I am not a perfect being and will always have flaws, but there is nothing wrong with aiming to be, the best version of me, I can possibly be. Whether the world judges that as good or bad is none of my concern. As long as I am better than yesterday, doing no harm to myself or others and never loosing sight of what tomorrow brings; I will be fine.