Aesthetic Radiance

I had a dream last night,

a darling in my sight.

She had decended into darkness from light,

judging from her scars I knew she had to fight.

I saw her and she came closer to hug me tight,

I tried not to but kissed her with all my might.

After the kiss she just vanished,

I looked around until I got tarnished.

It happened too soon and I lost my chance,

wanted to hold her close but life had its plans.

As I had my reasons, I knew she had hers too.

Who was this mysterious angel? I had no clue.

I thought she left me alone without a trace,

but I was wrong because I had seen her face.

I woke up to a song of love,

saw dark clouds looming up above.

Thirsting for love, hating what I did in my past,

how I could never make a relationship last.

I am broken, jealous, empty and insecure,

I am not capable of love, of that I'm sure.

With so much negativity filled in me,

I wonder how to heal this injury.

I go back in time to think,

about how i ended up at the brink.

How i thought

I gave everything I got.

I was wrong,

singing the same old song.

Life brought me back to the same place,

the orbit where stardust floats in space.

While the world spun at a faster pace,

I kept searching for her face.

It was a face of a friend I had known all along,

I wished my feelings for her weren't this strong.

Can't force myself to move on,

can't do anything to hold on.

What a weird situation I got stuck in?

How can I love another when my heart is bleeding?

Time to heal from my past is what I need.

So that over her i don't bleed.

It would be selfish of me to ask her to wait.

I know everything but it's a little too late.

Life is too short for second chances,

yet I have had so many romances,

filled with gratitude and regrets,

safely giving myself threats.

As I am nearing the end of my days,

I wish to mend my ways.

Till my last breath I will do what needs to be done.

I am only wishing to be the good that happened to everyone.

As for the girl from my dream, who is also my friend,

is closer than she seems and I will love her till the end.

She and I, both know that nothing lasts, be it love or pain.

I blame my heart, she blames the rain.

Now the only question that remains,

is if I will write a poem about love ever again?