Mindfullness for pain

Yes, I felt pain.

It was hard 

to stay sane.

I felt bad,

going through 

moments that 

made me sad.

Was it your fault? 

Or was it mine?

Was it the situation? 

Or just the time?

Is this god's

divine plan?

To see if I

do what I can't?

I fell to my knees

wished my heart

didn't beat.

Got so hard for

me to breathe.

I couldn't move,

even if i wanted to.

Felt helpless,

felt hopeless and

felt worthless.

Wanted death to

swallow me then.

Back to the

beginning again.

Am I a victim?

Or a prisoner

of my own sin?

What do I do?

Where do I go?

I seem to have

lost my path.

Will it be you

that I let go

from the depths

of my heart?

If I had to kill

a part of myself.

I wish it

wasn't you.

If you could see

what I mean.

You would know 

my love is true.

Like a child

here I stand.

In this wild

And free land.

Wishing you

would understand.

However, this goes.

There is one thing,

I must know.

Love and faith

can't be forced.

This is the

truth I will

accept and 

continue to grow.

Although,

this has happened

so many

times before.

Somehow

it never seems

to get old.

To find a

good person.

To love

and to be

loved in return.

Is all anyone

ever wants

but cold

betrayal awaits all,

at every turn.

Every heart

that beats

has felt the burn.

Oh Love,

your entirety

I will never

be able to learn.

To be better

than I was yesterday.

For serenity,

strength and wisdom

I pray.

Then I try

to see more

than what meets

the eye.

Not to make

anyone cry.

Never to speak

a single lie.

If our

paths divide,

I just hope to 

I get to say

goodbye.