You are the sun

On the pages
of your life
I wanted
to write
my name.
To treat you
like you were me.
Like we were
the same.
But i did not.
Turns out
we are not
the same.
I would have liked
to believe
that we are one.
With no faith,
I strive
to be love
at every turn.
Consumed
by this light-less fire,
I burn.
With naked eyes,
I stare
into the sun.
As I look
up from oblivion,
I block out
the sun.
To disappear
into the night,
to erase
all that is love,
to erase
all that is light.
I look back
into darkness
for reasons.
A reason
to rise,
a reason
to fall.
A reason
to do anything at all.
A reason
to smile.
A reason
to cry.
A reason
to live.
A reason
to die.
For nothing
heals like death.
To thrive
from the ashes
of all that
I've felt.
Withering away
into the wind,
like the remains
of the letters
I burnt.
I do wish
to be loved.
I do long
to be held.
Yet I swallow
all hope.
Bury all relations,
I couldn't cope.
With secrets
that were never told.
With images
of us
growing old.
Carving these words
on my stone heart
with a knife.
This is how,
I now see
life.
I don't speak
from a place
of fear
or sadness
but it is
a solitary existence
in complete nothingness.